I guessed who Tobi was… now shut the hell up, your argument is invalid!
Friends: Why do you call your Facebook notifications "notes"?
Me: Because you touch yourself at night.
When I see my picture in the yearbook.
tsunderlock: wentzporta: why the fuck are bras so expensive they’re just bOOB HOLDERS i mean hell i’ll do that for free
brokenpromisesanddbrokenhearts: you can’t spell school without i hate my life
Imagine if your future husband/wife is following...
eve: judas: john: abraham: And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.” And Abraham replied, “What.” God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster. And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.” To which they responded, “Gay.” And thus, God made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’...
this is why we can’t have nice things!
dylans-hoebrien: when my child is born i expect the doctor to lift my baby up and sing the circle of life
1 Reason Why I Love Tumblr
the-danger-family: scarlettbrooksrp: erisolchibi: GOD BLESS TUMBLR.
How do you make holy water?
Take ordinary water and boil the hell out of it. This is the best joke.
no1canstopus: I wish my money would just have sex and multiply.